I’m excited and changing

I was so proud of myself the past two weeks. I figured out my expenses for June and looked at my spending account. I didn’t have much money to last me till my payday 6/5. So I basically stopped spending money. Now in the past I would have used my credit card to buy my fathers day gift and birthday gift for my sister. I would have the money the next week so no problem…..except I would only pay the minimum on the credit card. This time I looked at the calendar and looked at my checking account and determined that I could wait until I got paid and not be late. I did it. I was paid on Friday and I have really really really been thinking I want more plants. I had even planned to go to Lowes on Friday and buy plants. But I didn’t. It just didn’t feel right. Saturday I ordered my fathers day gift (paying cash). Sunday I ordered my sisters birthday gift (paying cash). Monday I needed to go grocery shopping. I spent quite a bit but it was all cash. I looked at my money situation on Tuesday and realized. Probably no plants….also no cute little table for the patio unless I built it out of things I already have. The next most urgent thing was a hair cut. I have just enough for that but not for special shampoo and stuff. Tonight is the hair cut. I am improving.

I decided to take a quick status check of where I am at. Wow! I rock! It is June 10th and I already have my bills for the month reviewed, scheduled, old bills shredded and even balanced/entered some into Quicken. I have actually jogged every work day for the last 2 weeks. This is my 3rd Wednesday on the plan. I reviewed everything else too…..double wow! I really rock! I have summer semester pretty much paid for except for parking and $60 of books. I have almost $500 in my tuition account and at least $100 in my most account. I am already saving towards fall. I have almost $500 in my line of credit…..I could feasibly keep saving there and then at the end of the year use it on my Commerce balance to make that goal. If I kicked up my payment (but would cause me problems) I could get under $2,000 owed on Commerce this month. I will definitely make it next month. For _43_ days I have had $1,000 in my emergency fund. Holy cow! By the end of June I may have my debt reduced by almost $2,000. I know that is only $2,000 in 6 months and at this rate I probably will not make $6,000 by the end of the year but it is such a hard earned $2,000 I have much to be proud of. I have learned some. I am improving. I can keep this up.

Why do I want to be debt free

While doing my blog reading I came across a post that asked “Why do I want to be rich?” I think I can honestly say I don’t think I necessarily want to be rich. What do I want? I want to be out of credit card and line of credit debt. I want to go on a business trip and not have to worry about whether I will be able to afford the hotel that I will be staying at. I don’t want to have to negotiate with the front desk to pay one day at a time on my room. It was terribly distracting and I didn’t get as much out of the conference. I want to have enough cash on hand that I don’t have to time to the day when I can pay a bill and not have overdraft. I would like to not have to lay awake wondering if I can afford something happening to the car and getting it fixed. I want buy the plants I want and have the garden I want. I want to own a home…..I don’t mind a mortgage. Utlimately though I want to get married and have children and to be able to stay at home with them. I want to walk into that marriage with little debt of my own. I want to get married soon and have the wedding of my dreams.

I know to do all that I have to change myself. I need to recognize when spending money really makes sense. When to buy cheap and when to buy quality. I need to know that people that love me will still love me even if I don’t buy them a lot of gifts. I need to recognize when it is really just a burning desire to spend money and how to side step it. I need to always like who I am and be comfortable in it.

Emotional roller coasters

This financial journey is such an emotional roller coaster.  Yesterday at lunch I was anxiously looking at my money contemplating what I would be allowed to spend this weekend.  For Memorial Day weekend we are going out of town.   That is a post all of it’s own…..it was an interesting insight into my psyche.  I had a little anxiety because the check engine light came on  in the car.  Last night I got home and discovered that another credit card had closed my account.  WTF  I don’t believe I had been in overdraft on that account in recent history.  I haven’t used it since the beginning of the year.  One of their reasons was that I had too few accounts with greater then 24 month history.  Double WTF.  All of my accounts have greater then 24 month history.  I haven’t opened anything in the last 24 months.  So then I was bummed out.  This morning I woke up and felt that my credit history is going to hell in a hand basket and I keep working and working on improving and credit card companies just keep closing accounts.  The car light was on….and I am looking at spending more money this weekend.  Flash back to the present.  I worked through lunch figuring out my bills for June to help me figure out what I can afford this weekend while eating the lunch I brought from home.  While calculating my bills I looked at the block buster charge that was expected.  Did I really need this $29.99 service?  No.  So I called and canceled.  wow….look at me.  I just saved almost $30.  While doing this I calculated my debt since the beginning of the year.  I figure I owed $38,142.03 on January 1.  My calculations show I only owe $36,707.49 on June 1.  I have managed to pay off $1,434.54.  Not bad…..I may not make the $6,000 for the year but I am doing better.  The sun just came out on my cloudy day.  Lets step back a minute…..I am right on track with paying off school….in fact my summer tuition is paid all that is due is books and parking.  I have that already in savings and am starting to save for fall semester.  I have $1,000+ in my emeregency fund.  I have already bought the laptop.    I have paid off almost $1,000 on my Commerce Bank card.  I have about 3-400 in a savings emergency type account.  Maybe I’m not so bad.  I think I can do it.

Surprising good feelings

I was heading down to our cafe at work to grab a quick lunch (yes I know I should have packed but I wasn’t sure about my lunch plans this am) and I checked my spending account bank account to make sure I would be ok and that’s when it happened.  It was just a quick check and then another number caught my eye.  $784.19.   Now that number doesn’t really sound very interesting except it was in the available credit line column of the credit card I am trying to pay off.  I know that $784.19 doesn’t even sound like that much money and for the most part it really isn’t.  In this instance though it is huge.  It represents what _I_ have been able to pay off on an account all by myself.  It isn’t credit that the credit card company extended my card for but the very intentional work that I have done to not use the card and to pay it off.  What makes it even better is that this hasn’t been done at the expense of other things.

I have paid off half of my summer tuition.  I could pay the whole thing right now but I would prefer to let it earn a little interest.  Since it isn’t due until July 1 I have some time.  I am starting to save for the fall semester.  I have $1,029.35 in my emergency account.  I even have 310.41 in my line of credit.  I have $184 in savings that is building a bit.   My car and rental insurance is paid in full.  I even have $172 available on the only credit card I am allowing myself to use and that is before this months payment and my company expense reimbursement.  I have all of my bills calculated and scheduled for the rest of the month.  I have spent quite a bit in the last two weeks but I had a little reserve built up to allow that occasionally and I recognize my spending and have stopped.

Wow….I have paid of 784.19 all by myself.  I can’t wait till that is $1,000.  This feels good.

I can do this…..

I woke up this morning and life was great.   Highly productive weekend.  All of the bills were paid on time.  I had over $1,000 in the savings account and a plan to pay off the Commerce credit card.   I had planned out where the bill paying account was going to go for the next month and a half.  I had checked in on my school financing project and was right on target.  My state income tax return was still to come in.  Life was good.

Then I got into the car and drove to work and discovered that the passenger window would not go up.  It was truly amazing how something so simple could make a day seem so cloudy.  This was just another sign that I needed to replace this car.  So I started thinking about it.  I could give up the paying off the Commerce card and reduce what I am paying down on another card.  That should give me about $300 a month and then I could….so I took my bill paying plan for the next month and started checking out changes.  Fortunate that I did this because I realized that I was $200 off and would be have been in overdraft in short order.  So I fixed that and to fix that I had to take $120  from savings and $210 from the money market holding the $1,000.  Needless to say I no longer had $1,000 in the account.  Then I checked out some other things.  I needed to reduce the Commerce payment so i didn’t end up in the hole.  The other card I couldn’t reduce or I wouldn’t even be making the finance charges.  So then I started thinking…..no this isn’t right so I added up what I pay or plan to pay for the next month for my credit card and line of credit.  Add to that the rent, tithe to the church and expected utilities.  Then put on that the Netflix, blockbuster accounts and the subsidizing of my favorite soldiers angel.  Then if I take the idea that I get 2 paychecks a month that leaves me with……drum roll….98.22.  That doesn’t leave me much of a car payment.  Then I started the perhaps if I do this or maybe do that and sunk into a funk.

I believe I can do this.  It is the year of “I believe I can”.  I don’t know how without sacrificing something else but I will find a way.  Perhaps I need to reduce the cable bill or I need to reduce the spending money so that it is less and figure out how to do it with less.  I can’t earn more as we have no raises this year and I won’t cut my tithe.  Maybe the blockbuster or netflix has to go.  I won’t give up the soldiers angel but maybe those have to be subsizdized by the spending money and not the bill paying.  I really just must believe in myself.  If all those other people can do it then I can too.  I just have to keep believing and keep figuring out how.

I want to spend money….

Not only do I want to spend money I am struggling to keep from spending.  It started with the….it’s almost Easter and I _NEED_ an Easter dress.  I don’t need an Easter dress and I really can’t afford an Easter dress.  I still owe my March tithe.  My head says “but but you don’t have anything light and colorful really to wear for Easter and wouldn’t it be nice to have a new dress”.  Nice….yes.  Need or necessary no.

I thought I had done pretty good because I did not go through my normal I am going to rent a cabin in the woods for Palm Sunday weekend.   I research and research and sometimes go so far as actually putting out a reservation or inquiring about renting and then cancel the week before.  It helped that I will be out of town half the next week for work and beloved said he didn’t want to go.  If he didn’t want to go and I wasn’t going to get to see him half the next week and into the weekend then I didn’t want to go.  Add to that I had been paying bills and I just couldn’t figure out how (without using credit) I could afford it.  I had even made it through the “must get new golf pants for Tucson business trip”.  I went and put on the ones from last year that fit and while they don’t look the greatest they will work.  As will all of the cute golf shirts I bought last year.

Then the whole Easter dress thing came up.  So I had pretty much talked myself out of that (and honestly while looking online hadn’t really found something that jumped out at me) and was out ordering the table decorations for Easter (generally I would buy local and then take in suitcase but since I have longer trip not enough suitcase room) and then the “must get Easter gift for everyone” voice started up.   Brief station break to say that I did have my act together enough to look in the Easter box to see if I had some plates left over from last year.  I spent almost an hour looking for cute coffee mugs for the whole family that say “love” without being corny or too religious.  Fortunately I managed to not spend the money.   Then the very insistant voice of “must buy God son Easter gift” roused itself.  So there goes another half an hour.  I am proud to say that I managed to talk myself out of that.  It also helps that what do you honestly get a 1 year old about Easter.  He gets excited about an empty box and a spoon.  Someday I should do something but fortunately it doesn’t make sense this year.

See what I mean about must spend money.  I have so far successfully worked through those land mines.  It was time consuming but I did it.  I think this is where I have failed in the past.  I put myself on the strict budget and follow for awhile and then just snap.  Once I snap and buy things I don’t really need or want I beat myself up and either start over again (spending 2 months financially recovering) or give up.  How do I get past these things?  I have read some people talk about they give themselves a spend on anything bucket and then use it but they don’t get anymore until the next refill.  That might work.  I have been trying the “think about what little successes I have had and how great they feel and wouldn’t it be nice to have more them”.  Also doing the “everynight I open Quicken and look at how much money I owe” trick.  While it has been kind of working I don’t believe it to be sustainable.  So maybe I need to look seriously at how to fund the crazy money fund, where to put it and how much to put in it.  *Sigh*  I suppose if this was easy I would have already done it and everyone else would have too.

March status check

I have been bad the past two months on paying bills and it is showing.  Last night I buckled down and I did it.  ouch!

So for a status update:

Commerce bank card….haven’t used it yet this year!  I am down to $2,348.84 from 2704.97 at the beginning of the year.  That does include this months payment.  I am so excited that I haven’t used it yet this year.  In fact I have been doing pretty good on not using my credit cards at all.

School paid for….Spring semester completely paid for and by the end of the month I should have around $1,000 between my school savings account and my Missouri Most account.  I know that I had planned to put $500 in the Most account everytime my school savings account became that high but I am keeping it as a bit of a safety net.  The good news is that last night I was tempted to pull from it to pay bills and I didn’t.  Yeah me!

Buy laptop…..well I just went out and did it.  I had problems with my work laptop and was terrified of all the things I could lose so I went and invested.  Not on credit….totally on cash.  Not bad.

Replace car…..unfortunately the car account is still at 0.  Baby steps.  The expense of the laptop in January took till February to recover and then in February I paid off a bunch on a credit card to add that buffer for business travel.  This month I had a $600 flight home for easter.  I haven’t given up.

Have $1,000 constantly in savings account….wellll I have changed so my check is deposited there and I am only “paying myself” $1500 a paycheck.  Which in theory should be more then enough and allow almost $200 into the savings account each pay check (every two weeks) but it hasn’t quite worked that way.  To keep from using credit cards and not touch my school account I have been robbing from that and from my line of credit.  I do have a dividend check, company reimbursement, bill assistance, and income tax return coming in which should subsidize some.

Lose 20lbs …..I went up and I think I am back at 208.2.  I have been putzing a bit with a diet, doing belly dancing class most if not all Wednesdays and increasing water.  I am still doing the crisscross (20) almost every work week morning and added cross over leg lefts to build up the inside of my thigh muscles.  I can see that I have lost inches but I really do want to lose pounds.

As for my January Goals

• Pay for Spring Semester – success!!!!
• Drink 1 bottle of water every day – mostly success!!!!
• Put the $200 dividend towards the laptop account – bought!!!!
• Put the $500 dividend towards the $1,000 savings account – used on laptop but it was emergency
• Wash face every night – gotten out of practice
• Complete the month caught up on the 365 day bible – totally out of practice
• Exercise 3 times a week minimum – really really out of practice
• Get my finances organized in quicken. – working diligently on
• Journal at least 2 times a week – out of practice

I am going to spend the rest of the month thinking about goals for April.  I have some wins and some losses.  I had to chuckle at myself last night.  I am struggling to pay my bills and yet I didn’t give the bill information to my beloved to reimburse me.  I am struggling to write myself a check for reimbursement from the company and I refuse to touch my college fund.  The last I am proud of.   What I am not proud of is that I am in this state and to save myself I removed the tithe for the month.  As soon as I get some of this other money that is the first thing I do.  It’s a promise.

Goals for January

Anything can be accomplished if you take it in small pieces.

My small pieces for January are

• Pay for Spring Semester
• Drink 1 bottle of water every day
• Put the $200 dividend towards the laptop account
• Put the $500 dividend towards the $1,000 savings account
• Wash face every night
• Complete the month caught up on the 365 day bible
• Exercise 3 times a week minimum
• Get my finances organized in quicken.
• Journal at least 2 times a week

I have almost enough in the Missouri Most account to take care of the spring semester so I just need to take a little out of my school savings.  The bottle of water is totally achievable.  I have struggled a lot with what to do with the dividend checks.  For the most part the laptop fund made sense.  I need a good place to get my finances organized and get a lot of my personal stuff off of my work laptop.  I have been reading the finance blogs again and I was inspired when it came to the $1,000 savings.  I need a safety net.  Then I can look at the car.  The bible, journaling and face washing are just self care as is the exercise.  The finances in Quicken is a good first step.  My goal is to figure out where my money went last year so I can better figure out what and where I can save and how much I can afford in a car payment.  Time will tell.

Status how I did in 2008

2008

-Pay off amazon credit account – Success!

-have $1000 in emergency savings account – at one point in time this year I had it.

-Reduce debt by $6,000 – not even close

-Stop paying late fees, overdraft & overlimit (for at least 1 month) – I think I managed it once

I need to figure out my debt number exactly but that isn’t for tonight.  I also need to figure out how I am going to save money….I have some ideas I am pondering.

I did it!!!!!

Recap Yesterday’s Promise:  Promise to self.  Thursday I get out of an all day conference at 3:30….get home about 4.  First thing update the financial planning worksheet, calculate July bills, schedule them and shred what isn’t necessary.

Success!  In fact it went a lot better then I had expected.  I caught up the last 3 months on one account and the last 2 on another.  I went through and made sure all the bills were going to be paid a correct amount, updated the state of the credit, and shredded everything I had in the bin from May and June.  I clarify that because I know that I have a whole pile of receipts in the my purse but as the shredder and I have just about had enough of each other I think it is enough for tonight.

In the beginning of the year I had the thought that I was going to be aggressive on making credit card payments and I was going to have all sorts of things paid off by the end of the year.  That is great except for 3 big things.  I didn’t cut down on my credit card use to basically I spun my wheels for the past 6 months, I didn’t reduce my spending so I caused myself further problems, and I didn’t have much in the way of savings so when bad things happened I wasn’t prepared.  Things like car work so that it can pass inspection to the tune of $700 and the business trip to Orland at a hotel that cost almost $200 a night and I was staying for 5 nights.  Live and learn.

The past two months I have worked hard to reduce spending such that I do not need to pull from my credit union line of credit.  Thus I have over $200 in that.  I know it doesn’t sound like much but I don’t know that I have had that much available since I opened it.  I also only spent 2 times on the credit card.  One time was to purchase my dad’s father’s day gift because I was doing it online and earlier this week to pay $1 for registering at the grocerygame.com.  Hopefully with their coupons I will be able to more then recoup that cost.  I also paid only the minimum balance on the credit cards or maybe a smidgen more.  That said I am looking at what I expect to have at the end of the month in my credit union account that I use to pay bill and I could pay my rent without worry.  I am also getting paid on the first of the month which is also good.  If things continue the way they are and I don’t do something stupid this month I should be able to pay off my amazon card next month.  I do have to figure out what I am going to do about the patio I want to build.

I would like to sit outside more often in my back yard.  I decided last year that I was going to build a brick patio.  I have about a third of it done.  I have calculated (and I do need to review the calculations) that it will cost me $300 in bricks to finish it (including home depot delivery) and then I would need to buy sand.   I have been stuck in this infinite loop in that I would like to finish it and use it before the year is out but that is probably a $400 investment.  I can think of a lot of things that I could do with that money that would probably be better for me.

I think/hope that the good experience I had tonight getting things caught up, the regular discipline of writing on this blog, and the feeling that I have made some progress will help me really truly accomplish the financial goals I have for this year and maybe just maybe some good habits so that I can get out of this hole I am in.  I need to avoid the trap of looking at how long I am currently calculating to pay things off.  Maybe I make the long term goal that I graduate from grad school with no debt.  hmmmm….something to think about.

mental note:  add page of expected expenditures, should/need to spend, want to spend